How Midlife Made Me Rethink God

Surviving the Middle Years

My childhood revolved around a Christian god. A Heavenly Father who provided and loved, as long as you followed his rules and there were a lot of rules. As a child, I respected that. I followed those rules, mostly, because I didn’t want to die, because the god of my childhood was big into death and killing.

That god, that Heavenly Father, was remote. Indifferent. Kind of mean. Not forgiving at all. Don’t tell my mom this, but I felt little of a connection with this god. Honestly, though, I didn’t blame…